Wednesday, September 9, 2015

So the trip is coming up. In like three weeks. I'm beginning to feel that panic that you get right before an exam, except magnify it by 100. But in a good way. It's kind of like: "Oh my stars what did I get myself in to." And "This is the moment that my life will actually begin." I took my prep classes, I got my shots, and I'm making a list of what to pack.
Mostly though, I've been crying over the fact that I have to leave the kids that I nanny. "I wish I could be your nanny forever." And that scares me because I am going to work in an orphanage. Where I will be around children all day, and surely adore them just as I do the children here. And I'll have to leave them too.
That's mainly what this particular post is about: terrified excitement, and missing my kids that aren't actually mine.
It will be so different. I probably won't be running through the house holding a sword with a cape on my head, screaming as a child dressed as a Ninja Turtle tries to attack me.
And I probably won't be at home in my slippers drinking tea, and listening to Mozart. (Though I am loading music on to my phone.)
I feel kind of like that Calvin and Hobbes strip where they go careening down the mountainside on a sled. Except it's not a mountain, it's my life. And it's not a sled, it's my life. And Oh...my...stars.