So the trip is coming up. In like three weeks. I'm beginning to feel that panic that you get right before an exam, except magnify it by 100. But in a good way. It's kind of like: "Oh my stars what did I get myself in to." And "This is the moment that my life will actually begin." I took my prep classes, I got my shots, and I'm making a list of what to pack.
Mostly though, I've been crying over the fact that I have to leave the kids that I nanny. "I wish I could be your nanny forever." And that scares me because I am going to work in an orphanage. Where I will be around children all day, and surely adore them just as I do the children here. And I'll have to leave them too.
That's mainly what this particular post is about: terrified excitement, and missing my kids that aren't actually mine.
It will be so different. I probably won't be running through the house holding a sword with a cape on my head, screaming as a child dressed as a Ninja Turtle tries to attack me.
And I probably won't be at home in my slippers drinking tea, and listening to Mozart. (Though I am loading music on to my phone.)
I feel kind of like that Calvin and Hobbes strip where they go careening down the mountainside on a sled. Except it's not a mountain, it's my life. And it's not a sled, it's my life. And Oh...my...stars.