Love

Today is my last official day in Haiti. Tomorrow I fly at 3 PM.
I'm finding it very difficult to express how I feel.
Haiti has been such a challenge for me. And for some reason Mizak falls hugely into that category. Not because of the lack of electricity or plumbing. It was the calm. It was like taking a deep breath.
For those of you who know me well, you will know that I am an incredibly high intensity person, so Mizak forced me to face myself.
In Port au Prince I could disappear into the chaos. The streets were full, the orphanage buzzing with children, the hostel swimming with volunteers and the noise from the streets. That's how I like it.
In Mizak I felt an overwhelming fear of my own mind that I have rarely felt before. And I believe that to be an incredibly wonderful thing. It reintroduced me to who I am.
I think of every period of my life almost like a dream. When one learning experience ends, another begins; this dream has been especially awakening.
Mizak brought me back to Haiti in the first place. Over my ten days there last spring I knew I'd be back. Why was that? Because somewhere in the crevices of my mind I knew that it was time to begin a new dream.
So I have to thank everyone there. I have to thank Lee and Gabrielle and Jersey. If I listed them all this post would never end. The red dirt, the corn, the quiet.
Dreaming, growing never ends. I am leaving Haiti behind me (for now), and though I feel grateful for everything it showed me, and excited to use these new tools in my life back in the states, my heart is breaking. And I mean that in it's absolute fullest definition. If there even is an adequate definition for such an emotion.
I am in love with Haiti. I am in love with the crazy of Port au Prince, and I am in love with the stillness of Mizak. The sight of raging traffic jams, and the smell of paint in Lee's house.
From red dirt and almond trees, to murals on chalkboards drawn by 23 laughing children.
What a beautiful dream to have lived.