Nearing the end

At the moment I am sitting in the shade of a mango tree. It is warm in the sun, but in the shade cool enough to wear a cardigan. There are different colors of flowers blooming around me, and hummingbirds buzz their delicate wings as they attack the centers of hibiscus with spindly beaks. Innumerable butterflies swim through the air like it is liquid. I see the shadows of other birds soaring too high above for me to pick out beneath the leaves. A breeze is gently ruffling my dress and wafting floral scents my way. This is the base of HC (the hostel). How lucky am I?
It's not Mizak, but with my headphones in, playing classical, soft piano music I can find a similar tranquility as that tiny town up in the mountains of Haiti.  
Yesterday I visited CHOAIDS and asked every child what they wanted for Christmas. Each one gets one gift. With Johanne helping me to translate we made the list. I will now send it to the director (Marie) along with any donations I receive.
It was wonderful to see the kids, to see their faces light up as I walked in. Unfortunately I won't be going back to CHOAIDS. I'm doing the work that I can accomplish for them here. It is difficult to try to focus on wiring money and communicating with Marie when I don't have access to internet or my computer. I feel that I can do more good here than I can sitting with the kids some more. Not that I didn't love my time with them, but now I need to buckle down and work.  I need to use the rest of my time in Haiti to do as much as I can to make a lasting impact.
The first month of my trip, I focused on the kids. I focused on being with them, drawing with them, attempting to talk with them. And I do believe that was productive. But there are many aspects to cover, and hard as it may be for me to end my time with them, I see that there is more I can do, and I have to do it. I have to help them experience Christmas.
I'll do what I can, while I can.
On a different note, I am going back to Mizak on Monday for eight days. Lee and I are working on a book project focused on the orphanage system in Haiti. We are visiting orphanages in a neighboring town to Mizak called Jacmel. It is a larger city, don't get me wrong, it's tiny compared to Port au Prince, but their are many orphanages located there. We will do some interviews. Once I am home Lee will begin writing out segments on what we learned, and then email them to me so that I can add my point of view, and edit once I am back in the states. We already kind of started when I was in Mizak before, but we hope to get much more done this round. I know we will.
Then it's back to Port au Prince for 3 days, and then.....*drum role*...home. Oh my goodness. Home? What does that even mean anymore? Port au Prince is my home, Mizak is my home, Haiti. Haiti is my home.
I am so afraid of what it will feel like once I'm walking through that airport and back into Portland, Oregon. This has been such a journey for me, So life changing, as I knew it would. I'll end here because I am sure that before I leave Haiti I will revisit this subject.
Anyway, I'll write again. Tonight or Tomorrow.
Is it cold there???
Hah. Sorry.
--S