Everyone said that coming to Haiti would change my life, and it has. But yesterday was definitely a tipping point for me. Until yesterday I have just seen the kids as kids. Children who are HIV positive, and yes they're orphans, But they seemed...Just kids to me. I loved them, but I don't think I was taking in the full extent of this virus.
Meeting my first AIDS patient hit me. It was all finally so real for me in a way that it hadn't been before. A fifteen year old girl suffering from a syndrome that no one should ever have to face. And how lucky am I? Healthy and privileged, and with the ability to make the choice to be here. I'm here, and I want to help, and I can. But first I need to understand.
I know that I will never understand what it like to grow up in an orphanage, to spend three months in a hospital being treated for AIDS when I am only fifteen.
I wonder if when she came home from the orphanage, did she feel like she was coming home? Or did she want to be somewhere else?
So many questions that she won't be able to answer because she's too tired to talk.
And yet she found the strength to share her beautiful smile with me.
And though I know she is hurting, and I know that I can' understand, and that we are so different, just sitting with her in the shade in the courtyard felt peaceful.
Oh Sadie, thank you for sharing this. You and that sweet girl have been on my heart and mind since yesterday when I read your Blog entry. The response from the organization was special. What you are doing is impactful and the fact that you are taking time for self reflection speaks volumes about your own heart. Thank you for what you are doing. Love you girlie :)
ReplyDeleteOhhhhh Sadie, we looking for an experience that will somehow impact our being, catalyze us to a new way of being in our lives...but we never know how it will unfold before us, all we know is something will shift...you my lovely, lovely friend are so beautiful and this is so amazing and you are rocking this experience big time...I wrap my arms around you and fill you with love, strength and courage...blessings to all of you
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ReplyDeleteOhhhhh Sadie, we go out looking for an experience that will somehow impact our being, catalyze us to a new way of being in our lives...but we never know how it will unfold before us, all we know is something will shift...you my lovely, lovely friend are so beautiful and this is so amazing and you are rocking this experience big time...I wrap my arms around you and fill you with love, strength and courage...blessings to all of you
ReplyDeleteI can imagine that your sitting with her felt like a gift to her, too.
ReplyDeleteYour heart and brain are taking in difficult knowledge, Sadie. Be kind to yourself in these days.
We too are wrapping our arms around you Sadie. I think you are making a difference in the lives of these children but you are also touching the lives and hearts of people back home. There is tons of love, strength and energy flowing your way.
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